Leaving Home

I had begun to take a very active interest in the life around me. I could conveniently sit anywhere and listen to people talk, see them going about their daily business, and no one could hide anything from me, because they were not aware of my existence. I traveled a lot. In the early days I used to get back home but then I got used to staying away from home for longer periods. As long as I remained about the house I was reminded of my past life but once away I used to get so engrossed I life that sometimes I forgot that I had been alive once. It seemed to me that I had always been like this.

But it was not true. I had a life, a family and I had parents. It saddened me a lot to see my parents sit there silently and spend their evenings in quiet. On many a cold nights (not that I felt the cold) I have sat down and regretted my decision. The more I have observed life, the more I realize that life is not that bad after all. Everyone has their problems and the ones who learn to deal with it and cope with it are the ones who are looked up to. The ones who run away from their problems are neither respected in the society nor are they satisfied with their lot. Life after all was about fighting and giving ones best and waiting for things to happen. But as I said, staying around my house began to make me sadder, so I started staying away from the house as much as I could.

I decided to begin with a visit to all the places I had been to since my childhood. Some of them I had never thought I would be visiting but providence had decided that I would be visiting them. Maybe, as I later realized, it was to make me understand that what I had in life was not bad, not bad at all. Only, I had failed to understand it and use it in a proper way.

The first memories I had were of a small sleepy hamlet, which owed its existence to it being at a point where roads from three bigger villages met. So, on their way to the city, it was customary for people to stop for getting refreshed. Back then it was nothing more than a few shops along the road and a few houses above the road on the hill side and a few below it. I expected that over the years it must have changed a lot. The way the cities and towns had developed, it was hard to imagine that the little hamlet was left untouched.

I didn’t know how to go there, so I crept on top of a bus that would pass through the place. As we drew closer to the village, I could remember some familiar landmarks and it made my heart, as a term of expression, leap with joy. In no time we were at the bus stop and to my immense pleasure nothing had changed. The villages had grown and the cities had developed but the little place was almost the same. Of course there were changes. The shop and houses back then were mostly made of mud and wood and now in its place there was concrete. That could not be avoided, but the things they sold were the same. People now had modern conveniences but they were the same; I could even discern some familiar faces. The Chai-wallah was the same man as he was fourteen years ago, only there were a few more wrinkles on his face and helping him was a young lad, smart and sturdy which was unmistakably his son. How I longed to sit at his stall and order a cup of tea, special with extra cream. Then there was the barber who had a good time teasing us, me and my brother, as he cut our hair. Like most children, I absolutely abhorred getting a hair cut. I was sure that one day the barber would make an error of judgment and clip off my ear and I would be ugly forever. His voice was still fresh in my ear and I heard it all of a sudden out of nowhere.

“Two cups of tea, here”

“Oh! There must be some special guests at his shop today”, I thought as I moved to his shop. A man was sitting there waiting for his turn, what was strange was the fact that there was a woman with him and that barber’s shop was a men only. But it was obvious that the two were the guests for whom the tea had been called for. From the way they were dressed, it was evident that they did not live there.

It was a one-chair shop. Even that chair remained empty most of the day, but for now there was one person on the chair and another one waiting. The one waiting seemed more important and the barber was trying his best to rush through the current one, so that he could get to his next customer. The way he was acting, I was sure that today I would witness what I had always dreaded for myself-the clipping of an ear lobe. But he was adept and knew what he was doing and before the tea arrived, the barber had finished with him. But as soon as he invited the well-dressed man to take the chair, tea arrived and the barber looked at the boy who brought the tea as if he would make him disappear just by looking at him. But try as hard as he could, the boy was there with the tea and the barber had to wait till it was drunk.

A conversation started now.

“How long have you been here?” asked the well-dressed man.

“A very long time sir, I am the first and the only nai here”

The man smiled, as did the woman with him.

“Do you recognize me?”

At this the barber looked at him carefully and recognition dawned in his eyes.

“Suresh”, the barber let out involuntarily and he checked himself immediately. “Sir!”

“Yes I am that very Suresh who got my first hair cut at your hands.” Said the man with a smile.

“I am not here for a hair cut, I wanted to show my wife where I spent my childhood”, Suresh said, pointing to the lady with him, “we got married recently”

I knew Suresh. I recognized him too. He was some years senior to me but we played together. I had lost contact with him and it was nice to see him after such a long time. It was a great coincidence that we chose to come back to the place on the same day.
“How is it around here now?” Suresh asked, “I think it’s been almost nine years since we left this place. I miss it a lot and the people.”

“Its pretty much the same, most people have left it and some are leaving it” said the barber sadly, “but every now and then when someone like you comes up it feels really good.”

“Yea.” Suresh said.” I want details, and a barber’s shop is a best place to get all the details.”

It was nice to see Suresh after so long. I had the urge to go and hug him or talk to him but I, by know, knew better than that. But I was as interested in the way the area had turned as Suresh so I decided to follow him and find out how things had turned out.

The barber began in a melancholy tone, “Gone are the days, sir, when people trusted each other and did not even lock their doors when they went out. The festivals were celebrated with gusto and everyone ha a good time. With the arrival of the modern life, people have become jealous, crimes have been reported and rarely a week passes when the policeman from the nearing village does not have to come by for one reason or another. Last week a murder was committed and that is a first for us. It’s not a place fit for living anymore, but where will one go. I am glad, Sir, that you found a life for yourself away from here. There is nothing here anymore. Not that their ever was much but now the peace that was to be found here is wanting.”

This was depressing to me and it was evident that even Suresh was not taking it well. Though his wife was smiling, but that didn’t anger him or me for that matter. It is not easy to understand or feel another’s feelings even if he or she is very close to you. I could not expect her wife to understand the careless childhood we spent in that little place. Never fearing anything, we would roam about everyone’s house and stay for the night wherever we wanted. It was all like one big family. And if what the barber said was to be believed then indeed it was sad days and things.

To cut a long story short, I followed Suresh around and as he talked to people it was soon evident that the barber had not been far from the truth. I even followed him to his house where his parents narrated the same story to him and with a sad heart I decided to move from that place and carry on to the next stage of my journey.